Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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