three words: i give head
three words: not that well
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize