glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
