So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
