yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
