I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i think my cat just said my name.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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