escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
