whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
