I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
