She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
