Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
