pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
