I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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