My nipple is on Facebook.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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