Sry I called you an 8
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
