so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
