The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
