so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
