I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
