Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
