I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When are your genitals available?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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