i would punch a child for taco bell
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize