I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
