Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have fence marks all over my body
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
