I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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