Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You made out with two different species that night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
