Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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