By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
