wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you win again, gameday.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
