Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't think brook has ever known best
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
