i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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