i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
