I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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