Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
