Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
