I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
