Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
