Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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