Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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