dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
4 words: hood of his car
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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