Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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