that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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