I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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