Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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