Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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