Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
