Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
