i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
