Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize