Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
