Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Farmville is her only friend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
