I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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