69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
