she woke up with a sticky ear
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
