i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
