He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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