She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
