Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
