She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
