I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
