I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is my gift to your gina
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
