belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
